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Despite all of our advances as humans, for some reason, mastering the online dating profile continues to allude us. Bubbles – We just threw up in our mouth a tiny bit imagining what’s under those frothy bubbles. Wooing you with his words – Someone must have told him that talking about prostitution, STDs and bodily functions (ALL IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH) is the way to a woman’s heart. The halo was most likely added to camouflage the fact that he’s a total dirtbag.